It’s not us, Tommy, it’s you.

New York Best has become quite a household name of late hasn’t it? Let’s make it clear, I am completely against the Moviment Patrijotti Maltin’s act of vandalism which was a clear attack on freedom of expression, then again I’m against everything they do.

This post however is not about that, this post is about New York Best and Fat Louie’s founders Tommy and Nicholas Diacono and their outstanding arrogance and megalomania. In an interview with MaltaToday’s Matthew Agius, the Diacono brothers came out looking nothing short of spoiled rich class discriminating prats.

Whilst thinking about how I’m going to write this post, I decided to give in to the modern trend and writing it in the form of a listicle. So here it goes, here are the three things that fucked me off the most in their stellar interview:

1. Of Wrong Customers and VAT:

Yep, that’s right, if you’re a NYB or Fat Louie’s customer and you dare have the audacity to complain about anything, it’s most likely your fault. The reason, according to Lord Nicholas Diacono is that you “just don’t get it”, who describes himself as a very down to earth person in the interview (I know right?) During the first part of the interview, the Diacono brothers go on about the ever so tragic complaints they get regarding their prices and sizes from us Maltese peasants and their ever so painful chip frying and brisket preparation process. You see guys, if you’ve opened a business you’re bound to get criticism and as the great and magnificent entrepreneurs that you are you should be able to handle it and brush it off and not cry about it as if it’s some great life ending tragedy.

Just when you think their whinging couldn’t get any more ridiculous, up steps Tommy “the brains” Diacono by saying “Most of the guys I compete with don’t pay VAT” You see Tommy, if you know someone is breaking the law, you report them, but this probably might be too simple for your advanced and peerless train of thought.

2. Of Lowly Students and Work Ethics:

Halfway through the interview you’d think the two brothers would have actually stopped bitching about how difficult and lonely life is at the top of the culinary table and supply us with something decent. Sadly, this was not the case. Next in the cross hairs for the dynamic duo were Maltese students and their work ethic. According to Nicholas Diacono, young Maltese workers have no passion and are just there to earn money, his solution to all this? Remove stipends. Yes, you read that correctly.
Let me get this straight, you open two fast food joints next to Junior College and the University of Malta in Msida and you’re suggesting the removal of stipends?

Just to prove how detached from reality these people are, Nicholas Diacono goes on to say that students shouldn’t get stipends because according to him “Mummy washes for
them, mummy cooks for them, they can  catch a cheap bus to wherever. It’s a Maltese
dynamic.”  Yes, it was that tragic. His Royal Highness Nicholas is so detached from reality that he doesn’t stop to think that some families live in poverty and that the stipend helps young students with buying their clothes and other necessities because their parents or lack of parents in some cases are not able to. Also, have the heart to realise that some students don’t have a “mummy” or daddy and some have very sick mothers or fathers which can’t cook or clean because everyday is living hell for them.

 

3. Of Malta and Idiots:

I do not classify myself as a patriot, but I am proud of this little island we live on and I’m proud of this nation we’ve built over the last 53 years or so. However the same cannot be said about the Diaconos who seem to think that they’re some hoity-toity lords looking down on us simple commoners. Just when you thought Tommy Diacono couldn’t stop shooting himself in the foot out comes the gun again, “I don’t like Malta. I don’t like Maltese people” he said of the nation that bought his food and gave him their money. It’s OK, Tommy, chances are they don’t like you either, especially after this interview. Tommy Diacono then went on about how pained he really is about the party he rooted for in this election lost and signed off by called the Malta “Schizophrenic” and the electorate “Idiot”. Tommy, just so you know, Schizophrenia is a horrible illness and thousands suffer from it as do their families. Also, you’re about as funny as a Victorian tragedy, Tommy.

Tommy Diacono did however sign off eloquently by saying “I haven’t procreated yet, but I don’t want my child to be raised with these people.” We’re thankful you haven’t procreated either, Tommy.

 

So all in all thanks to this interview I’ve now realised that I do not deserve to dine at NYB or Fat Louie’s any longer and that I’d probably have to settle for somewhere lowly like “Shoreditch” in Paceville or “The Lord Nelson” in Mosta. Woe is I and the rest of us peasants on this rock. Oh, and do send us a postcard when you’re far away, gentleman. We’ll be missing you ever so much.

I’ll say one small thing about the whole last supper debacle, two unworthy sides got the press and attention they so crave. On one side the Diacono brothers who knew the advert would irk the staunch Catholics and would provoke unwarranted action.
On the other end we have the unstable and despicable racist group of old men, which to the faithful now look like some glorious knights of old defending the faith.
The less said about these two sides the better.

 

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6 thoughts on “It’s not us, Tommy, it’s you.

  1. This is crap lol. Nothing you said about them is so offensive to write a blog about. You’re just sounding like a jealous prick who’s been following their every move. You’re making up reasons to hate them and the only people who’d give a rats ass about what you just said would be your mother or any close minded ‘Last Supper’ protester. Its not Tommy, its you. Get a decent job and quit this.

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      • Humans Of Late Capitalism: When the “peasants” call out the antics and bull of the “high ups” it’s hate and jealousy. Why don’t you quit the “haters gonna hate” attitude or is it allowed if you’re working a decent job Denise?

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  2. This is simply excellent! First and foremost, it’s great that the voice of the left in Malta is getting another media source. We need to work together to create an alternative to neoliberal LovinMalta. Is there a way we can cooperate?

    I subscribe to each and every sentence of yours in this article. I remember very well Diacono’s suggestion to replace student stipends with tips from waiting job at NYB. The lack of insight into the lives of Maltese outside his pretentious bubble was too obvious. Keep it going!

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  3. He did have a point about the Maltese. If you disagree with him, then you’re not being honest with yourself or you don’t get out much.

    Like

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